never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Randomize