I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize