birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize