so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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