bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
bring money and cleavage
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
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I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
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blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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