Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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