sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize