just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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