That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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