Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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