I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize