Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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