I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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