I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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