I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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