i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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