Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize