i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize