just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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