This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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