People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
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I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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