just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
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I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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