Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He's on the porch naked. Help.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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