You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize