I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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