my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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