If that was your dad, he is hot
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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