Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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