my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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