thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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