Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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