How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize