There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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