maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize