I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize