she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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