now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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