You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize