i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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