take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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