I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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