I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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