sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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