it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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