Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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