Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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