Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize