he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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