Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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