im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
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You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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