We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize